Compiling the challenges. First month on the road.

I knew we were going to have our challenges. I really expected them... Of course the beginning of our "caravaning" life isn't going so smooth. I don't believe it happens to anybody as it's part of not being in our comfort zone.  I asked Thiago the other day why we don't just settle down and leave a predictable lives? We are constantly changing and moving. It's just a big thing in our lives since we met. Bored? Never! Kkkkk

Oh these adjustment times of mine, of ours. Challenges are present whenever you decide you want growth, new experiences, learning and whatever else you want to change. Challenges are real and lay under the surface. They are not always easy to be recognised, honoured and digested. Here we are, travelling full time with 3 children under 5.

I must say the challenges don't only start when you hit the road. They start the minute you say: Let's go travelling full time! Downsizing was our very first and biggest challenge so far. We had around 2 months of selling, packing and giving things away. What a task! It was really interesting to do though. It made me think about how much of unneeded stuff we have floating around a big house. How many times we left things undone just because we had the space in the house for it. It made me realise that some things are needed and some are emotionally needed. It was a very interesting but a super draining process.

The day to start the trip came and we all felt overwhelmed with our big feelings. Lots of excitement and fear at the same time. (this is me saying, Thiago might feel differently. My fearless husband!) Sure I was super excited, travelling is a must! I love it so very much. I love talking with the locals, love discovering the culture and the beautiful places however I'm not so adventures with the food. It has being one of the biggest challenges for me on the road! Not being adventurous myself makes my head spin so much when I'm choosing the food we will eat. Specially for baby Maia. It kills me not giving them fruit or veggies in a meal! I know that is very high expectation but I just haven't been able to relax and let go. Working on it... I'm trying to simplify my way of cooking and keep eating healthy.

My mother started the trip with us and sure an extra pair of hands was excellent. When she left we all felt a bit lost as we had more jobs to do ourselves and entertain the busy children in the big and exciting camping sites . We miss her very very much despite our disagreements and some times our desire to be just the 5 of us. Lucas, our eldest is the one who misses her the most. They have an incredible connection.  For sure from other lives! Since she left he has been really lost and we have been going crazy with his behaviours. Exhausting...

It has never been a breeze with him, he is our little puzzle. So capable and clever and so immature to deal with his emotions and social interactions. He finds it hard to adapt and accept the changes. Transition times have been a nightmare. Even pleasing him have been super challenging. Being kind and patient with him have been super hard.

I feel so bad whenever I raise my voice with my children and being with so many people around us all the time have been challenging as it adds on when I blame myself for raising my voice. I know judgement comes from us first and we should not pay too much attention to it but it's hard to hear from an elder lady behind our trailer: Wow, this is huge for a 5 years old. I heard that when Lucas was throwing a massive tantrum.  

Challenges are here every day!

I asked Lucas what challenges he is facing and he said straight away: "It's very hard not to have a toilet to relax. I love relaxing while I'm doing a poo, you know? Do you know what I find challenging, mum? Not having a big bed to myself. I like rolling on my bed!"

Lucas and Anita (Our second child) have been sharing a double bed on one end of our trailer and it has been a big change for them. They each had a room back in our big house. They asked to sleep together many times but some days when they find it hard to connect they would rather sleep away from each other. Reasonable, isn't it?

We have been learning so much, so many different things! From dealing with our big emotions to just being more organised and not letting it for later. From seeing each other most of the time of the day to finding space to breath out and have a break. From having a very limited space inside the van to an unlimited space outside to explore. It's an endless process of learning.

Things are happening well and fast despite the many challenges and we have been trying to be present on the moment. Practising our gratitude for being so fortunate for having one and another in this big journey.